The presenters of the Dead End Podcasts all originate from the Midlands, situated in the very centre of the United Kingdom (or England as Alan-Cat prefers to say). They met some years previously while making a short film, unfortunately never completed, and their friendship has lasted to the present day.

Alan-Cat…

Alan-Cat, the self appointed leader of the Podcats, enjoys bitch-slapping the other cats and general obnoxiousness. He is tolerated by the other members of the Podcats because of his super-power, which is the acquisition of obscure (but sometimes useful) movie related information. This super-power originated from his birth behind a Tesco’s in Warndon, Worcester and his subsequent abandonment in the supermarkets electrical isle. While foraging for food he bit into the HDMI lead of an HDTV and waking an hour later he discovered he had this strange ability. Filled with images of superheroes fighting crime Alan-Cat donned his yellow spandex and became the scourge of evil-doers everywhere as “Alley-Cat”, only to find that his ability to name all of Dario Argento’s movies in order was of limited use in the fight against crime. During one particularly brutal brawl he was subjected to the dreaded “cockpuncher” technique from a hired cat-assin and decided to hang up his spandex. He is currently working on his biography with Stephanie Meyer, famed and award winning writer of the “Twilight” series of books, the only woman Alan-Cat feels can capture the ups and downs of his shadowy life…

Dave-Cat…

Dave Cat was hatched in a popcorn bin in a locked and forgotten room in the ABC Cinema in Wolverhampton. After escaping through the fire exit during a showing of Tim Burton’s Batman he joined a gang of Alley Cats called The Claws. While the rest of the gang spent time terrorising the local neighbourhood, Dave-Cat was supposed to do their food preparation. However, he just stole soya beans and flavoured them with Tuna Essence. He then used his spare time to watch a wide variety of action films and tried in vain to keep up with the complete works of James Belushi. Once the gang realised that their food was a poor quality, vegan substitute of food Dave-cat was expelled from the gang and forced to find a home with Mark Kermode. It was here he developed his substantial sense of humour as a means of blocking out the horrors of the quiff and Kermode’s freakishly huge hands. As a bi-product Dave-Cat also learnt how to create meaningless opinions which openly contradicted each other in what Orwell called, “Doublethink” but what people often refer to as “bullshit”. He was rescued from the terror of Kermode by Simon-Cat and slowly integrated back into society. To this day he still holds a primeval fear of quiffs and bass guitars.

Simon-Cat…

The Si-Cat tale is sorry tail to tell.  Forced to share a shoebox with six other cats, Si-Cat lived a compressed life in his early years.  Some say that this time of struggle was a cause of his abnormal size and is often mistaken as a kitten due to stunted growth.  Despite his shortcomings, he did develop a keen curiosity of his surroundings beyond the box and, indeed, the TV box.  Subjected to soaps and gameshows, Si-Cat could have become psychotic, but luckily he was saved from madness by discovering Tribbles and Han Solo.  He realised that the TV box could offer all kinds of insights and stories and would hide away until it was dark to find out more.  After the tube burnt out, he was reduced to scrounging until he found  a pile of old video tape with which he poured hours over. He real achievement though came by accident, as many do.  After a near miss of The Claws gang being and banned from Tesco stores for his liking of muffins, Si-Cat stumbled upon a 12″ reflective disc.  He found that by spinning it and using one of his undeveloped claws, he could read the contents of the disc and, to his amazement, acquired the necessary skills to survive a zombie attack, skills that he fine tuned over a number of years.  A particular set of skills that actually now strike fear into the undead.  Yet to use them in real life, Si-Cat is ready in case of an apocalypse and stands on guard as humanity’s saviour.